Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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