It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
