you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
