woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Even my vagina gasped.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
