I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
