At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
