watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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