do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
