I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
