so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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