thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
