Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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