she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
