speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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