he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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