you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
