I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
