I have demons in me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize