Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize