I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
