I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
there is puke in my bra ... again
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