Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You just made me feel so damn special
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
