This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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