He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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