Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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