I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
