Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
