So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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