you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
