Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
