no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
