Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
