I'm going to jail i love you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
