In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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