This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
