So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
