If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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