i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dicks are not precious.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
