do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We are two peas in an std pod
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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