you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
