Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
