I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
