Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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