It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
