I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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