I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
