u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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