I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
