Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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