Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
