I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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