i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
