And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
