I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
