That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
