So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
