i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize