There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
