My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
