its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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