i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Someone shattered a urinal.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
