Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
